I had a strange drive home yesterday evening. It was foggy, really foggy. However, it was picturesque. The clouds hanging low into the trees and hovering over the corn fields. What was strange was I had this sense of calm. I haven’t felt it in a while. It was then that I started thinking about my spirituality and made an important discovery.
I have been dabbling in Buddhism. I love the teachings of loving-kindness and mindfulness. How we are all connected as one, not separate as we tend to believe. I have since put aside Christianity and my faith. I just didn’t believe anymore. A bad side effect of that has been this emptiness and loneliness in my heart. Like something was missing. Something vital. Last night I determined I am still a believer.
I haven’t lost my faith, I’ve lost my passion. I once had it but it is gone. I want to rediscover that passion and so my wife and I are going to church shop. To find that one place we walk into and feel spirit, life, and energy. After discussing it with her last night, she is in the same place I am. We both know it’s time for a change.
Once I realized this I felt this peace and calmness overtake me and I smiled. Heck, I laughed. Now I know everything is going to be alright.